I’m Not Proud of My Children
When I was a child, there was nothing better than hearing “I’m proud of you” from my mother or father. Hearing these words meant I accomplished something worthy of their admiration. I attained the ultimate goal of drawing a comparison between myself and their image of the perfect son.
Conversely, not hearing the word ‘proud’ after achieving something I felt was admirable had an equally strong but opposite effect. That frantic feeling of failure had a punishing impact. I had disappointed those whose love was most important to me.
Had I truly failed in the eyes of my parents? Were my expectations of their praise too high? Regardless, the influence of the word ‘proud’ on my self-image had been established.
In my early years of parenting, I instinctively used the word ‘proud’ to acknowledge the accomplishments of my children. Why wouldn’t I want them to experience that same satisfaction I felt when praised by my parents?
What a pleasure it was to see their warm smiles, knowing I had made them feel adored. Their positive response validated my behavior, guaranteeing I would continue to be ‘proud’ of them in the future.
At this point, I feel a quick clarification is needed in case my children read this someday. I…
